Sunday, April 26, 2009

10:22 PM

hello!

just watched Star Awards 2009(:

although i know some people might say it sucks

but to me,

its of special significance(:

coz it's sort of a family tradition

to watch it as a family(= haha!:D

and anw im so going to die for econs tesT:(

but on the other hand,

i know i can't - i know i must jiayou

in order not to disappoint

all those who have been helping me(:

i will do my best de!

smile(:

LyOn

Friday, April 24, 2009

1:17 AM

hello(:

<333333 YLF!

and <33 to everyone else who made me smile tonight :D

as long as i believe i can do it,
guess what?

i really can do it!(=

SMILE(:

LYoN

Monday, April 20, 2009

10:56 PM

hello!(:

i'm so going to FLOP tomorrow's maths test:(

OH WELL.

it's retribution for not putting in enough effort

and slacking:(

oh welllllll .. whats done cant be undone:)

hopefully there will be some kind of miracle tmr? heh.><

anyway, woke up today feeling depressed:(

it's going to be such a depressing week

with so much things to do and stuff to catch up on

somehow i just feel so overwhelmed

- it makes me depressed

whereby u just feel like stoning and hoping that everything bad will disappear

haha.. kind of childish but oh well.

luckily, i felt happier throughout the day:)

ehh haiz

i realised i always seem to be whining about my studies :(

sigh.

so much to say but whenever i think of how i might actually be lucky in the eyes of others

i just cant bring myself to say or complain anything

because i don't deserve it

all i need to do now is to JIAYOU(:

so jiayou to me(:

and EVEERYONE :)

Smile(:

LyOn

Sunday, April 19, 2009

2:21 AM

hello(:

rahh. i should be sleeping now:(

but just can't get to sleep

dunno why. ><

it's going to be such a busy and stressful week ahead

and i'm yet again living in self denial

and not doing work.. procrastinating...

i'm wasting everyone's effort and encouragement on me

i'm wasting my own time

and i'm destroying my own future

argh. what a depressing thought...

haiz.

but oh well,

i'll survive(:

i'll wake up tmr morning

refreshed and determined(:

and even if i don't manage to do what i want to do tomorrow

i will still persevere and do my best(:

i realise some people see positive thinking

as living in self-denial

in the sense that we're coaxing ourselves and assuring ourselves

that everything will be okay

when in actual fact, everything is actually not okay><

hmm. maybe positive thinking has an element of self-denial in it..

but i think it's necessary (:

because if we don't give ourselves hope

who's going to give us hope?

from a future social worker perspective:

how am i going to give others hope

if i cant even give myself hope?

how am i going to get others to think positively

how am i going to inspire others

if i can't even do that to myself?

you practice what you preach.

have a strong set of values and

whatever you do,

always believe in that set of values

because that's what makes you

YOU(:

its going to be a long day tmr

but i will jiayou(:

jiayou to everyone too!(:

Lyon

Thursday, April 16, 2009

7:15 PM

hello(:

YAY!!!!

WE DID IT!!(:

GOLD :)

i was praying so hard throughout my time in school today

and yay:D

my prayers came true(:

thanks to everyone who supported us :D

haha (:

kind of sad that i missed the celebration in sch today:(

coz of a warning phone call by my mum

who was clearly pissed off by

1. how late i went home the previous days

2. how tired i was

3. the amount of clothes to wash><

but anw it was all worth it(:

ehh and i just got reminded by someone ><

its back to working on being a FULL-FLEDGED MUGGER!(:

SMILE(:

Lyon

Wednesday, April 15, 2009

8:55 PM

hello(:

SUPER TIRED.

but it's worth it.

for TMR.

all our hard work will pay off

we WILL try our best

and let's leave the rest to fate(:

hopefully it will be a good one.... (:

JIAYOU SYF DANCERS :D

Smile(:

LyOn

Sunday, April 12, 2009

10:38 PM

hello(:

i have decided to sleep early tonight!

and have a fresh start tomorrow!(:

sad to say,

i didn't really do much today :(

only managed to finish some homework...

kind of sad now that i didn't make good use of this weekend

in the academic aspect

but beyond that, this long weekend was quite a nice one (:

this coming week is going to be filled with dance and more dance

with the final test on thurs...SYF =/

really hope everything goes well(:

anyway, for some random reason,

i started thinking alot today...

i think it was because i kind of lost the motivation to continue mugging

while i was mugging halfway..><

actually, it can't really be counted as mugging since i was only doing homework :(

it was kind of weird -- couldn't really persevere today

so i decided to take a break haha XD

well, so i started reflecting about alot of stuff

(i always feel super reflective in nice weather (; )

seeing the encouragement tags on my blog

really brightens up my day(:

and the feeling of knowing you have someone who will be there for you always

really makes you feel very blessed(:

but on the other hand, it makes me wonder whether i have really been there for people

even though i always say i want to be there for people

have i really done much for others

like how they have done for me?

like what i mentioned in my earlier posts,

i've met wonderful individuals

who have really helped me alot (:

motivating me, offering help in various aspects and always being there for me

and i'm really thankful .. very very thankful(:

maybe it's time to reflect, appreciate more

and be a better person(:

be someone who can do more than just appreciating pple

be someone that people appreciate

be someone that can inspire people to appreciate(:

all along, i have lived by the principle of

treating others the same way you hope to be treated

not treating others the way you hate to be treated

and not expecting them to reciprocate (:

so i must treat people better (:

and really be there for the pple i care abt(:

although i might feel very inadequate about certain things about myself

(my flaws etc)

i shall try to remain strong with all the encouragment given to me

by pple who care about me(:

in order not to disappoint them :D

i must jiayou!!(:

everyone must jiayou too!(:

we all have special pple in our life whom we dont wish to disappoint

and so we must persevere:D

smile(:

LyON

12:23 AM

hello(:

dance in the morning
(:

tiring but must persevere coz SYF is just in a few more days time >.<

JIAYOU everyone!(:

i'm feeling more positive about dance now(:

maybe it's because i took the first step in improving relationships(:

nevertheless, i know dance will still be in my list of troubles

but at least, i feel its more worth it now(:

i'm getting the same feeling like before le:D

met up with chun yin later in the evening

to get publicity materials about a CIP event from him(:

and got the treat that he owes me HAHA (:

haha its kind of cool that we can crap so well together LOL

but it really helped me to destress(:

n i'm thankful for that cuz stress can sometimes be very demoralising :( ahhaXD

so i'm happy (:

but i feel kind of bad that he reached home very late HEH :(

coz amazingly we crapped and did minimal work till quite late heh

but nvm , i shall make it up by doing my best to publicise the CIP event(:

tmr i must JIAYOU:)

SMile:)

Lyon

Saturday, April 11, 2009

2:07 AM

hello(:

Good Friday was not as productive as i imagined it to be:(

started to be really productive from 4 plus onwards ><

was super frustrated and annoyed and depressed and demoralised

before that when i first embarked on a (failed)expedition to conquer

my mathematics revision package :(

that sense of helplessness , sense of fear, sense of anxiety, sense of panic

that just overwhelms

and engulfs me

whereby i feel so tempted to break down and cry

but i know i won't ...

in fact i felt kind of disgusted with myself for even coming up with that thought ><

i realised that ever since primary school,

i have never ever cried about my academics

it's not that i'm strong but rather i just refused to let academics rule my life

refused to let my expectations defeat me

all along, i have been living by the principle :

just try and my best and live the rest to fate(:

for my academics.. that was sufficient.. i thought that there were more important things for me to cry about...there were more important things for me to be truly bothered about

but i'm unsure for this year.. i don't mind experiencing crying for my studies

and focusing solely on studies for this year .. (: afterall, its a significant enough year:D

and when i try to feel upset for my results, i usually end up in a state of numbness

or i just can't bring myself to feel that way after i see how other people get so upset over their results...

if i got higher than them, there was no reason for me to cry

if i got lower than them , there was no reason for me to cry because i wanted to show them that

i can still stay strong despite my worse results..:)

kind of weird thinking.. haha i realise i think too much about others..

even my future careers are all careers for others.. -.- not that it's bad lah..

but i never used to think of it in this way heh.

anyway,

was kind of impacted by what my bro told me ><

dont be passive and wait for people to ask if u need help

though you are priviledged enough to have people volunteering their help

it was doubly impactful to me because before that, i was pondering over how i could receive help from different people for my academics...

and it was just a matter of whether i made an effort to do so :(

also, the serious tone in which my bro put this point across

really kind of shook me up in a way...

i'm glad that he brought it across in a reprimanding manner..

cuz because of that, it really hit me hard.

in a good way lah(:

i realised that i have always been a passive person

never willing to take the initiative

and always hoping someone would volunter himself/herself.

and never asking for help when i really needed help

firstly because i was too busy

secondly because i didn't want to trouble others

thirdly, maybe i had a strong ego ><

but i should really be contented..

because along the way, there were always people there

offering to help me...><

i know i'm priviledged and blessed to have people offering to help me

but then again,

i can't keep depending on them coming to ask me whether i need help

it should be the other way

i shouldn't take people for granted

especially when there are other people who need help more than me

but are not as priviledged as me( in a sense)

i should not feel cocky and arrogant about it

and instead i feel quite ashamed of myself

i dont like it when people take me for granted

so same should apply for them ...><

it suddenly dawned on me that

perhaps all along,

i have not been truly appreciative of other's help

of others offering to help me...

i mean i really do appreciate from the bottom of my heart

but perhaps at times, i just sort of don't feel anything

which is bad:(

or even times when i just appreciate at that point in time

but never realise how lucky i am

i realised im selfish ><

haiz. another flaw to add to my flaws list ><

heh..

i need to reflect

i need to be someone who dares to ask for help

i need to be someone more active

i need to be someone better..(:

and i will work hard towards that goal!(:

anyway, some inspiring stuff:

acronyms for social work!

Special

Optimistic

Caring

Invigorating

Appealing

L ively

Wonderful

Opportunistic

Relaxing

Kind

also, heres a wonderful video(:

haha(: HOPE YOU ENJOYED IT(:

there'll always be a tmr

and

tmr will always be better(:

smile(:

Lyon

Friday, April 10, 2009

11:52 AM

hello(:

yesterday was quite a significant day

because it was the day of the release of PW results...

haiz. i always hate this kind of days

because there'll always be people feeling upset :(

which makes you feel equally upset...

but i really want to tell all those people who feel upset that:

CHEER UP! and MOVE ON(: to push yourself for better grades for the MOST IMPT ALEVEL at the end of the year!(: whats done cannot be undone so just take the lesson and become a stronger person(: it's time to MUG!:DJIAYOU (:

and to my PW group:

THANK YOU (: (: project A will always be the best PW group. to me (:

OH and i must start mugging too :(

JIAYOU :)

Lyon

Thursday, April 09, 2009

12:44 AM

hello(:

feeling quite awake even though its already 12 plus le...

it should be a good sign(:

for me to continue doing homework :(

sigh. haha XD

anyway, today is 9th april

and it's the birthday of someone really special to me....

HAPPY 18TH BIRTHDAY JINGHUAN!(=

thanks for always being there for me (:

thanks for never failing to brighten up my day(:

thanks for making me always feel special, appreciated and loved(:

thanks for the times which you truly worried for me(:

thanks for that 3-hr call we had till 3am(:

thanks for so many many things(:

i'm really blessed to know you

as a friend and as a sisteR(: and for us to be further bonded by YLF :D

<33

anyway, it's Career Day later on!(:

haha:D hmm frankly speaking, im not very looking forward to it

since my mind is already all made up to be a social worker

but nevertheless, i shall try my best to appreciate the efforts by the school(:

feeling much better le(:

thanks to all for the concern (:

just still feeling super lethargic

oh and i hate history repeating itself:(

sigh...is it adding on to my resentment? haiz i hope not..

but anw just a bit more to go- JIAYOU!(:

really thankful for the long weekend ahead(:

i'm going to make good use of it(:

JIAYOU :D

Lyon

Tuesday, April 07, 2009

4:57 PM

hello(:

was still feeling unwell today in school:(

took leave and went home early to rest.....

and i'm feeling better now(:

although still very lethargic ><

rahh. i still have so much to do

but i shall let myself slack for one day more

and hopefully when i recover fully tmr

i can go full force again :D

to be a potential full fledged mugger(:

Smile(:

LyOn

Monday, April 06, 2009

11:10 PM

hello(:

YAY(:

i finally finished my history term paper!

Although i think i took AGES to complete it :(

but i'm still glad it's over :D

argh. flu since yesterday :(

i hate flu because it makes you super sian and sick ><

must be the cold weather nowadays=O

i think i shall go sleep early tonight

and hopefully i can recover tomorrow(:

SMILE(:

LyON

Saturday, April 04, 2009

9:10 PM

hello(:

i'm in a good mood now (:

just came back from meeting hamizah at white sands just now:D

thanks girl for listening to all my complaints, whinings and grouses:D

i really really appreciate it!(=

and definitely, you'll be the first person on my mind if i need someone to whine to :D

thanks also for offering me opinions and advice and some form of scolding!(=

thanks for giving me stronger self-assurance that what i'm doing is right

and i should persevere and jiayou for my studies(=

and thanks for making me feel so much better (:

plus a FINAL THANK YOU for ur support in my efforts to be a full-fledged mugger!(:

although we weren't very productive

because we spent most of our time talking

i think it's worth it (:

it made me feel more motivated and inspired :D

ahah(: i like the feeling of knowing that there's always someone there for me (:

HEHEH:)

so, if you have any troubles, i'll be there to listen too :D

anyway, i have come up with a new eqation:

LYON=FULL FLEDGED SOLO MUGGER=GOOD GRADES FOR ALEVELS (:

i shall JIAYOU(:

smile(:

LyOn

2:10 PM

hello(:

it's amazing how things and people

will help to cheer you up

when you're feeling down and negative :)

even when they have no intention of really cheering you up,

sometimes their actions or even their presence

just makes you suddenly feel less negative ...

the first half of today

was

BAD , BAD and BAD :(

i shan't elaborate as to why it was bad

but i was really feeling super depressed

negative, irritated, frustrated

and " LYON, YOU SUCK" phrase kept running through my mind:(

haiz. i always need to be alone at these moments><

actually, i realised i'm quite a weak girl- sadly

coz i need to be strong to be a good social worker :(

HAIZ.

but anyway, i'm feeling better now(:

and i'm sure i'm going to feel better later

after meeting hamizah :)

everyone has their depressed moments

and what we can do for them

is to just let them be

and hope that they feel better soon(:

everyone needs time :D

sometimes i wish......................................><

anw , must jiayou le!(:

SMILE(:

LyOn

Friday, April 03, 2009

12:31 AM

hello(:

freaking tired:(

nevertheless,

i shall PERSEVERE (:

Jiayou to me!(:

and jiayou to everyone who's reading this post-

don't ever lose hope

don't ever lose faith

don't ever think you can't do it

don't ever feel like a failure

don't ever put yourself down

don't ever doubt yourself

because

it's not worth it (:

the more you think negatively of things

the higher the chances of things really becoming negative for you

positive thinking is good (:

even at times when everything is seriously so screwed up

you just want to shrivel and die

don't forget that there's still so much in life

that you haven't experienced

enjoyed and so keep living life to the fullest(:

mistakes are okay- no one's perfect (:

we are who we are and only we can help ourselves (:

only when we help ourselves

we will realise that we are acutally helping others too :D

by believeing in ourselves

we make others believe in themselves too

someone's going to have to take the first positive step

and hopefully soon, everyone will be taking their first few positive steps too :D

smile(:

LyOn

Wednesday, April 01, 2009

9:20 PM

hello(:

it's been a wonderful April Fool's Day :D

not because of any wonderful pranks i pulled though-.-

i guessed all the good things started with PCCG(:

firstly- it was in class(: which meant i had time to write to my dear

CSC yr 6 pple :D

anyway, we went through goal setting

and future career decisions(:

actually, i'm quite happy that i have already made up my mind about my future careers:

1. Social Worker

2. Matchmaker

3. Teacher ( I haven't decided if its special ed teacher or academic teacher)

but i still hope that i can achieve my number one ambition of being a social worker :D

really happy about the support from the class HEH (: especially some people :D

although im on the right track,

i still must jiayou :D because the future is unpredictable =X

meanwhile, one more thing i can continue to do to prepare myself as a social worker

would be to listen more to other's troubles and help them :D so if you need someone to listen ,

im always there (:

after PCCG, i was very touched by something Miss Leong said to me :)

i didn't realise the significance of that sentence

till today haha XD

i see hope! (: (:

anyway, had CSC farewell after that :D

photo taking followed by food!(:

the year 5s ordered pizzas and mr tan seng hua was very generous

with his gift of (high-class) cookies and sweets (:

anyway, proceeded on to the classroom for a short farewell ceremony

whereby felicia made her speech(:

followed by me

( oops i think i said too much - for a " few words" HEH ><>

but i really hoped my speech did help in a way (:

miss tan came after that and showed her inspirational powerpoint for us(:

the juniors presented us with gifts after that :D

a mini cactus for everyone (:

so sweet! haHA xD yea i agree that it might be urging us to study harder and be as strong as the cactus(:

anyway, i passed on the CSC file and our new book to be passed

from generation to generation :D haha!

really hope that DHSSHCSC will continue to shine

and shine even better from now on:D

i have faith in the year 5s !(:

i also passed notes plus cards to my fellow CSC yr 6 members(:

thank you so much to all of you!(:

you guys made my efforts in CSC worthwhile (:

now, we must jiayou for Alevels(;

it's officially the end of my journey as a CSC chairperson

time really files><

on one hand, im really glad that the responsiblity of CSC is

not on my shoulders anymore but

at the same time , i can't help but feel abit nolstagic ahah XD

but i feel reassured because i know DHSSHCSC is going to be in good hands(:

DHSSH CSC- we have come a long way but we will definitely go a longer way :D

im looking forward to the futures we will be getting for our future aha XD

after the farewell ceremony,

the guys, me and miss tan engaged in a very spiritual and meaningful discussion

(: i din know elvis was such a deep thinker hah XD

shall blog about the discusssion another time(:

for now, i feel really blessed because i impacted

many people today :)

and brightened up thier days (:

JIAYOu :)

LyOn