hello.

Suddenly felt like blogging. School has started and honestly, everything rocks so far(:
except for genes and society. That module sucks to the core and I hate it- the same familiar
sense of " what the hell am i doing here?" resentment when I was studying Science in secondary school- it just makes me feel so irritatedly angry yet helpless with myself, struggling to find
resentment and a streak of rebellion just to make myself feel better. Nevertheless,
it was a choice. A choice that I made, according to my own beliefs and priorities and I always
believe that we need to be responsible for our own choices. So yes, suck thumb- as the army saying goes. I'll just prepare to screw up this module and s/u it. Heck care and freak the stupid module! I'll just do my best and silently keep cursing this module in my heart. (:

So yea, what has made school awesome so far, is of course the company I have. (: The wonderful social work friends that I have - they brighten up my day and I feel really blessed having them in my life. Of course, not just social work friends, uni friends too :D And haha. basically if I start to count my blessings, I do have people in my life to be happy about. (: And oh, I got myself a scholarship. Yay!

Chinese New Year is approaching. And I don't know why but I have mixed feelings about it. Oh well, anyway recently , I feel myself swinging on the pendulum, being happy at one moment then stressed and sian at another - these ups and downs just make me so irritated. I feel alone at times, in a sense that I can't expect others to know and really understand what I need and want and so, I try to make do with just having myself for comfort and solace in this moments.

And my committments. I feel stressed. Edgar said something meaningful to me recently,
about why I should get so pressured when not everything is about me. Well, it's true , I guess, I tend to take things more personally, responsibilities especially - I guess it's a combination of me wanting to meet my own expectations as well as hoping to succeed in the purpose of whatever responsibility I am given, I'm not sure which is more dominant though. Seems that I probably don't understand myself well enough about that.