hello!(:
argh. my first Alevel paper is on Monday ><
and its a break for a week
before the dreadful/challenging next week
9-13 november
i have papers everyday and one day with 2 papers somemore!
but i'll be damn happy once that week is over:)
having mixed feelings about Alevels now
=/
but i'll clear it up soon i hope(:
today was rather unproductive at first><
coz i was super duper lethargic
couldnt get myself to study
and even felt like puking
so it seemed that i was starting to burn out ><
although i didn't even think i really mugged like hell for the past few days
gave myself more leeway
towards the end of the week heh(:
this is weird but here's a new korean star i like:
kim taeyeon(: haha:D she's super cute and can sing very well!(:
anyway, lucky jinghuan jio-ed me out at the right time(:
so i went to study with her at post centre
and felt much better and a little productive(:
and as usual, jinghuan made me laugh like hell(:
<333>
now it's time to rest(:
lethargy is kicking in again:(
jiayou!(:
lyon
8:26 AM
hellloo(:
feeling happy now!
because i finally just sent my video
to people/groups of people that
i treasure(: that i haven't sent yet :D
hope i get to brighten up their day abit
(:
smile and jiayou !:D
cheers
lyon
12:41 AM
hello!(:
someone has been really really really nice to me! (:
and omg i feel damn blessed and touched:)
not only did she offer to walk me home
she specially insisted i carry an umbrella
even though it was only slightly drizzling
(because she knew i had exam next monday)
and thus she took the effort to unlock the gates and doors to go and get the umbrella
and even though she was very tired from working so long
and haven't eaten anything since afternoon
she still insisted on sending me home
even when her house was the opposite direction from mine
and that means she probably has to take a longer time to reach home now
plus its raining so heavily now >.<
i hope her small umbrella manages to shield her well(:
and she's been really nice to me (:
i heard her helping me ask her supervisor about the volunteering opportunity
and she reassured me about the existence of my study hideout(:
she's really one of the nicest person i have ever met :D:D
because i don't really know her well or barely know her
and yet she helped me so much despite not being obligated to
because i only helped her once(:
her son must be a very fortunate person(:
and i hope he gets good grade for this Alevels(:
i always feel super touched, happy and inspired
whenever i meet people who are really really nice (:
they are selfless and truly care for your well-being
even when they are not obligated to:)
its because of people like them
that makes me want to strive harder
in emulating them
to be a nicer person
to be a better person
and hopefully i can bring joy to others too:)
smile(:
hope she reaches home safely and eats something nice(:
cheers
lyon
Thursday, October 29, 2009
11:17 PM
hello(:
again, life always finds a way to cheer me up
whenever i'm discouraged and feeling down:)
was feeling discouraged over maths
and decided to go home and stop studying
and then you told me i could go home later
and somehow we started talking abit(:
haha i don't know why but just felt happy talking :)
and especially when you said that you'll help me find out
about that volunteer opportunity:)
haha:D
yay(:one more motivation to work hard!!(:
so yup(:
life always cheers me up in most unexpected ways
which i really treasure alot(:
so thats why i try and cheer pple up
whenever i can(:
because you never know
how much your encouragement
means to others(:
for now
i shall rest for awhile
and jiayou again:D
smile(:
Lyon
Wednesday, October 28, 2009
10:26 PM
helllo!(:
went back to school today
and managed to settle almost all that i wanted to settle(:
but looks like one more trip back to school
is inevitable><
oh well - returning back to school always drains me out:(
probably the reason why i'm having this huge headache now:(
which serves as a warning sign(and an excuse) to slack :D
so i might as well use this resting time
to type a nice blog post
inspire myself, inspire others( hopefully )
and motivate myself to persevere and push on in the next few days:)
well, been studying everyday( who's not xD )
but somehow i don't feel productive
which is kind of irksome at times when i start to lose hope
feel demoralized , discouraged
and i just feel like giving up
but after i told myself to give up
i just couldn't bring myself to give up (:
i just knew i had to persevere on- its almost as if it was an instinct
i guess thats because this final exam is proof
proof of all the hard work this 2 years
okayy maybe not hard work
i must admit that i've been really rather slack in my studies
for the whole of senior high
BECAUSE OF CCA COMMITTMENTS ><
i still remember how close i came to dropping a H2 subject
after talking to miss leong about all my commitments
and not only so, i gave up certain opportunities to focus on my studies
like YVIP last dec, totally took up my whole dec
and plus CSC stuff followed by dance and blah blah
never ending stuff plus my lack of discipline to do consistent work throughout
so yea, when i look at people getting good results
i know that they deserve it - i've not been really doing my best, giving it my all since senior high years start but i don't regret spending my time on cca committments(:
well, except for some certain committments
but generally its been something memorable to look back upon
when im old next time (:
i guess thats how life is
you lose something you gain something
so the same logic applies to studies now- you lose your freedom to play but you gain results(:
sometimes while studying,
its inevitable that you feel like you're heading nowhere
you seem to be just struggling
not even knowing for what
and whether you're in the right direction
but times like this
just relax and recall(:
recall and remember all the people who have been supporting you so far
who you have been working so hard for
who that have been motivating you so far
and also look at what you have been doing
are you studying more than you ever did in this year?
the fact that you are means improvements WILL be made(:
its about keeping the faith
that everything you learnt and gained in this two years
is in your brain, in your memory
and positive thinking will unleash it naturally in the exams(:
or at least, thats something i always believe in :)
and afterall
ALEVELS is just a part of our lives(:
although i know that i probably would be devastated and heartbroken
if i screwed up my Alevels
but still, i think the crux to keeping your cool
is to treat ALEVEL as an experience(:
its something to spice up your life(:
its a challenge for you to prove yourself :)
ahah okay maybe sounds a little too optimistic yea?
hmm but anw my point is not to get too stressed because
what will come will come
what will be will be
so just do your best:)
and your best will be at that moment in time
during your exams
when you're 100% focused:D
thats your best:)
giving it your best
means not giving up
and persevering on
against all odds:)
its one of the most important skills in life
- trying your best:)
oh and i got to know a few more people while studying nowadays:D
which im really thankful for
because its their care and concern
and what they say at certain times
that somehow just brighten up your day :D
hopefully, i can somehow keep this friendships after ALevels:)
after ALEVELS
i'm really looking forward to life after ALEVELS(:
because i can finally
do what i really want to do
do so much more for the people i care about ,
like my family(:
catch up with all my friends
and of course, visit SUNDAC :D:D
haha(: never go and visit for so long le (:
on a random note,
i really enjoy walking back home alone at night nowadays(:
the wind, the smell, the lights
and the moon , the stars and the big black, sometimes dark blue or purple night sky(:
plus listening to music on my way home
there's just this sense of peace and happiness
or rather, its the simple pleasures in life:):)
i'm really looking forward to more of such moments
because they never fail to make me appreciate
that i'm living by making me feel alive:)
but for now,
as much as i really dont want to do so
i know i must STUDY
and try my best(:
so at least
at the end of everything
theres no regrets(:
only fulfillment:)
so jiayou people!! :D:D
suddenly feel like encouraging people all over again:)
i shall start sending my video to people
whom i wanted to send but forgot to:)
smile:)
Lyon
Monday, October 26, 2009
12:22 AM
hello(:
maybe i'm just complicating things.
life is meant to be
simple
and
happy(:
there's always a reason for everything.
when things don't go your way
when fear and depression starts to bite
keep the faith
keep believing
keep hanging on
things will change(:
just wait and see.
jiayou!
cheers
lyon
Saturday, October 24, 2009
7:31 PM
hello!
aiyo.today wasn't a very productive day :(
kept on daydreaming AGAIN
but oh well, at least it was better than the past few days(:
HEHE(:
i just got to believe that
tmr will be better!
and make tmr better(:
ANYWAY
my main purpose of this post is to
post about an affirnity meeting i had with someone today!(:
well it started with me
having this sudden urge to go out and jog
and while i was jogging
i heard someone call " LYON"
and i turned and ta-dah!
i saw.....
XIAOYOU:):);):)
haha XD
damn qiao rite!(:
and we started jogging together
coz she was going to jog too aha(:
and anw we talked while we jogged
and i really enjoyed myself
and and i realised jogging and talking seems
very effective
coz we actually did that for 50 min ahha(:
coz of my laziness
everytime i jog
i always end up giving up halfway
haah(: so today quite an accomplishment:D
haha(:
maybe we'll see each other soon
and jog together again!:)
i like this kind of nice affirnity meetings:)
very sweet and special(:
i like affirnity :D
smile(:
Lyon
Friday, October 23, 2009
11:32 PM
helloo(:
well, the first week of study break has come to an end.
. . .
and argh apart from monday( public holiday)
i have spent every other single day
returning back to school :(
for all reasons ranging from history lessons to mock papers to consultations
okay lah although i know i cannot blame anyone for the fact
that im going to school everyday
but i can't help but whine about it
because i really think going to school during study breaks defeat the whole purpose
of even having study break :(
and plus i really really really am NOT productive in school
i dont know why but i can't study in school
especially at this point of time
whereby i really want to mug
ALONE.
like really isolate myself
live in my own world
and mug
haha (:
because afterall, it boils down to this:
ME, MY GRADES , MY ALEVELS(:
its all about me( sounds egoistic yea xD )
but yea(: so i really just want to spend this period mugging alone
because i know only when i mug alone
i will do my best in mugging
i won't be distracted
i can do what i want
without having to care about what others feel
which i cannot stop myself from doing when i mug with people
ZZZ.
but of course im not saying mugging in groups is bad lah
i am quite alright with the idea of muggjng in groups
its just that nows not the period for me
everyone has their own preferences(:
and plus mugging with people makes me stressed -.-
but even as i say this,
i know that next week
somehow i will go back to school again
BUT this time
i hope it won't be a daily affair ><
haha (:
anyway, enough of the whining,
Alevels is just like about less than 1 week away
and frankly speaking
i don't really feel any special feelings towards this now
its kind of like im feeling rather numb but oh well
the pressure will always come when the date is nearer
but i shall do my best to overcome it
(:
are grades everything?
well, in singapore, i would say they seem to be everything
in our education system
which is kind of pathetic
but then again
at times we forget the true meaning of grades
grades symbolise, signifiy, represent
our efforts, our determination, our goals, our skills and knowledge acquired in the past
and lastly grades prove , prove to ourselves
that when we work hard for something
chances are likely we will get it
perhaps not 100% what we wanted
but if you compare what we will get in the end
to what we would have gotten , had we not put in the hard work
the marginal benefit of working hard still wins(:
well, im not exactly working hard now.
:x BUT , i believe alot in psychological warfare in exams
its not the smartest or most hardworking person
who will emerge the victor in exams
especially humanities exams
its the most exam smart person who will eventually win
of course , that person has to know her subject well lah
thats a for sure thing
but anyway, my point is that
theres no point in getting so stressed over it
life is all about moving on
its all about accepting and letting go
while we accept the arrival of Alevels
we will have to let go certain things in us
that would hinder us from doing well
such as paranoia, stress
and stuff like that(:
because no matter how tough life is
we just got to keep moving(:
step by step
we'll make it if we don't give up(:
actually sometimes i don't know
how come i can actually come up with encouraging stuff
because after i typed all the encouraging things to encourage people and stuff like that
i don't feel encouraged myself
which is weird because im the one who thought of all these encouraging things -.-
but one thing for sure is that
knowing that you have managed to try to at least encourage someone
is really enough for me(:
i think doing things for people at times
is more appealing than doing things for myself
haha sounds weird but aiyah that only applies for some stuff lah,
im not that altruistic(:
haha XD
i know myself the best.
i don't like it when people judge me
unless they're people whom i really really respect and trust their judgement alot
which aren't many in my life haha(:
so when i say how bad i am
about being selfish, lazy, narrow-minded
i really mean it
sometimes knowing bad things about yourself is bad
but knowing it from others is worse
i like to know my flaws
because it prepares me for the future
it allows me to strive to be a better person(:
im a complicated person(:
i'll admit that
and i do things according to my own feelings
my inituition
and most importantly
my set of life principles
which only i know(:
people who know me well should know some of them
but ultimately
theres no one who knows all of them
because i am not accountable to anyone for my actions
except for myself(:
so yea, we only live once
live it the best you can live
and thats by living it in the way you're most comfortable in
and thats by being ourselves(:
haha long reflective post
but yea(:
some thoughts i suddenly had an urge to write out(:
ignore it unless you're really interested to know me better(:
meanwhile,
jiayou :):)
smile(:
Lyon
Wednesday, October 21, 2009
12:13 AM
hello(:
was initially feeling kind of irritated and pissed off about some stuff
and then i read the email mr tan sent
and watched the video he recommended
and i really felt much better(: (:
plus a dosage of fruit basket
(: im feeling happy again(:
sometimes i'll think that
life is tough and i really want to run away
from all the things i don't want to face
but then,
i realise that thats how life is(:
its a journey, a process
that will go on no matter what(:
everything good and bad
will come eventually
but whats most important
is how we face them
facing them positively or facing them negatively makes a difference
but of course,
its impossible to be 100% positive or negative
it's too idealistic
so ultimately
it all boils down to this logic:
we should just live our lives as who we are(:
coz it's OUR lives(:
smile(:
LyON
Monday, October 19, 2009
7:55 AM
hellloo(:
was blog reading
and i realized there were many inspiring posts about the last day of school(:
hmm but i can't seem to get into the mood of really feeling nolstagic( which is quite surprising )
maybe coz i know that the real goodbye is after alevels ><
anw, its just 2 more weeks to go!
well, somehow for now
i don't feel that pressured
because after all
exams are unpredictable
but as long as i try my best
i'll accept what i get(:
it may be good , it may be bad
but life goes on ...
of course i hope its good
i don't want my dream of NUS Social Work
to be smashed :(
so i just have to study, study and study now(:
just keep going :D
n i shouldnt daydream so much
HAIZZZ
haha(:
smile(:
Lyon
Saturday, October 17, 2009
11:27 PM
hellooo
argh. i totally slacked today:(
haven't regained back my focus
but i shall do so tmr! (:
hopefully! (:
been daydreaming alot recently
about really random stuff
which is not good
coz it totally breaks my concentration:(
haiz.
now its the final lap -
i must do it!
but only after a good nights sleep(:
smile(:
Lyon
12:30 AM
hello(:
yday was WONDERFUL.(:
the performances, the farewell ceremony, our class cake and pizza, yujias present
our class game
and last but not least, our class dinner(:
everything was really :D:D:D
and it seemed like Alevels was over
which is not the case lah. haha XD
still need to jiayou(:
but i'm really happy to be such a wonderful class (:
with such wonderful people(:
although yesterday was the last day of school,
it didn't really feel very nolstagic or anything like that
and i think it was because for the first time since quite long
i managed to feel the class spirit of 6c12(: (: (:
even our attendence for our class dinner
was one of the best! :D with only around 4 people not make to make it
its something really heartwarming (:
and i know and believe that
as a class, we'll stay bonded(: even in the future :D
and that kind of makes me want to love and treasure the class even more(:
oh and im glad you guys appreciate what i gave you all(: heh:D
oh and thanks to the positive responses today
plus some people's encouragement,
i decided to let my " jiayou" video
be known to people whom i know(:
of course not to every tom, dick and harry
coz i dun think they will be interested-.-
but mainly the people whom i know and treasure
as my friends and whom i really want to encourage:D
so here's the link!(:
it may not be the best video
my best pfm
but its sincerely my best wishes(:
from now on,
im going to treasure everything im given
in more (:
and give it my all:D
jiayouu!!!(:
(:
Thursday, October 15, 2009
11:46 PM
helllooo(:
OKAY it has been such a LONGGGG time
since i blogged rite?(:
haha:D
just didn't feel like blogging
but today
suddenly had this urge again(:
coz tmr'sthe last day of sch:D
AND also smth good happened tonight:):)
anw tmr i'll be showing what i have prepared(:
feel more assured now of what i'll show(:
thankyou:D
and okok i shall blog a more detailed post tmr:D
smile(:
Lyon
Sunday, October 04, 2009
5:27 PM
helloo!(:
i'm inspired(:
can't describe how inspired i am now
but somehow at this moment in time
everything fits in nicely(:
the sounds around me
the scenery around me
the way i'm feeling
the things i'm thinking and reflecting about
everything just seems to blend into one
and i'm just absorbing everything
and i feel really really really inspired(:
i like and always treasure this kind of moments(:
because they make me feel more alive than usual
they make my existence feel appreciated
i'm not sure appreciated by who
but i just have this feeling that there are people out there who really appreciate me(:
yet i know i can't pause this moment
life always goes on
the clock is always ticking
no one can stop time
regardless of good or bad moments,
everything will pass
and so we can only learn to appreciate and treasure more (:
appreciate the fact that we get to experience joy in this moment
and treasure everything around us(:
take a mental picture of it and keep it in your memory
so when you're all alone one day
you can revisit that memory again
and remember that you were once truly inspired(:
life is all about memories , isn't it?
from the day we were born all the way till we leave this world
we're always making memories for ourselves(:
good ones, bad ones, sad ones, happy ones,
there's always a balance and this balance makes life more meaningful(:
sometimes when im feeling down
i look back in time, revisit the memories that i have treasured so carefully
to make sure they remain fresh in my mind(:
even though i lose some memories along the way
but i always make sure the most important ones stay(:
memories are proof that we're living (:
even though sometimes living might seem so painful and intolerable
the fact that we're still living
is always something to be thankful for(:
because as long as we're still living
we still have the chance to experience happiness
we still have the chance to do things that we hope to do
be with the people we want to be with
and even if we really can't do those things and be with the people we want to be with physically
we can always imagine (:
we can always reflect on the memories we had with them
as long as we're living
there's always hope(:
in the toughest situations, as long as we are thankful for the fact at least we're still living
it makes everything seem much better(:
if we want to help others,
just go and help others(:
if we want to try something, just go and try it out(:
why waste time thinking about things that are beyond our control?
everything happens for a reason(:
everyone lives for a purpose
and everyone will find that purpose
sometime somewhere
at some point in time(:
just believe and the answer will come (:
we are all blessed people(:
really.
we must have the courage to move on
no matter what
because it's this courage that can inspire
can move
can touch
can reach out to people(:
that can give people hope
i know that there are so many people dying out there in the world
and it's really beyond my capability to do something for all of them
but but why get demoralized over that?
maybe we should start first by making a difference in the lives of the people around us
help those around us that need help
influence them positively and slowly, the original power of one
will evolve to a whole group and then a community(:
everytime people tell me
they want to go overseas and help the people over there
although i will always feel comforted and happy for their thought and kindness
and know that the people overseas will really appreciate their help
i can't help but think:
what about the people around us who need help?
The reason why i don't wish to go overseas to be a social worker
is because i believe that i want to help the people around me first
help the people in my community
help the people in Singapore(:
if i can't even help them,
how can i deserve to help the people of other countries?
the reason why so many people want to go overseas to help people
is because they see the sufferings of these people
through the media and such
but perhaps we should think about the people around us first(:
still, i do believe that different people have different callings in their life(:
some people are really destined to go overseas to make their difference(:
so i respect that
and as long as i know my own calling
that's enough(:
as long as it involves helping people
i'll give it my full support(:
haha:D for now, i'm going to savour this inspiring moment before it can fade away :D
smile(:
Lyon
Saturday, October 03, 2009
5:35 PM
hellooo
(:
i went around reading blogs and i realized everyone's blogging about
post prelim period
so i shall blog about my post prelim period too(:
that is probably not as exciting as others
but it was really nice:) to me
i spent tues and wed and thurs at home(:
feels great to just slack at home
and watch tv, eat , watch videos(:
i indulged in alot of videos(:
especially xiao jing teng videos:D
ohhh and i realised that nowadays i like to go for morning walks(:
although it makes me feel very young
because i see old people all around me
jogging, strolling and doing qi gong
makes me wonder whether i'll be like them
in many many years down the road XD haha
anyway, i spent friday and saturday
with two people whom i treasure alot(:
and haven't been catching up with them :D haha
friday:
i went back to school to study with joanna!(:
haha XD okay lah half studying and half talking <33
hehe so long never talk to her for so long le(:
i really enjoyed myself(:(:
ohh and she helped me with SOMETHING SPECIAL(: that i'll show soon
(: thanks loads<33333>
saturday(today!):
went out with jocelyn to cycle at ECP!(:
had lunch at pastamania and ended up mugging abit which was good(:
and of course we talked alot too:D
especially while cycling<333
and lunch was good! although i was damn full HAHA
i enjoyed myself too:):)
actually i realised that
many of the people who are special to me
have names that start with J leh(:
maybe my future half will be someone who's name starts with J
( JAM -xiao jing teng!!<333>
hahaa:D
but there are also other people
who are really special to me
and have names that start with other letters lah
haha:D
anyway, although my post-prelim period
isn't as exciting as other people
but i think it was quite a fruitful period(:
not in the academic sense of course
but in the sense that i did the non-academic things
i wanted to do(:
and from now on,
its just
ME, MYSELF, MY STUDIES AND MY ALEVELS(:
jiayou!:)
smile(:
Lyon
