but nevertheless it

was

really

FUN(:

who cares about image when you're having fun right! haha(:

the joy at that moment stays with you for much much longer

than the unflattering impressions or thoughts

that people have about you(:

but was damn tired after that haha XD

walked so much :( haha :D

but it really feels great to catch up with an old friend

and i'm looking forward to catching up with many more old friends this dec! (:

maybe i should make a list of all the people i should catch up with heh:D

BUT BUT BUT

there's a bad side to this and that is

I AM GOING BROKE:(

okay lah it's coz that i have set aside some money for certain purposes

and i don't know whether my parents would gladly give me money to go out

because i'm already spending so much of their money for the taiwan trip:(

sigh. so it'll be good if people give me treats haha XD no lah jk,

i mean, i may have to borrow money from people

BUT once i get a job next year, i'll return :D:D:D:D swear! haha(:

okayy anw today was a great day!(:

( don't read below if you don't feel like reading my rantings)

but i'm not sure whether i can go out on any other days this week

because i feel quite guilty that i left my mum at home whole day to do housework

without being around to help her :(

haha actually the more days i stay at home,

the more i feel guilty whenever i go out :( sigh. haha XD

and i must also be more productive at home - besides helping my mum with housework

and cooking, i'm slacking around like a pig:( but i don't want to turn into a pig:(

ahha XD nvm i shall see how(:

(don't read below if you don't feel like reading my personal thoughts)

GOKUSEN the movie!

it was really really a wonderful movie that touched me alot(:

it really showed a teacher's sacrifice for her students

how much her students meant to her

and how a teacher can actually make such a great impact and difference in her students' lives(:

should let all teachers watch this movie lahhh xD

it will be such a positive impact(:

i really admire the female teacher( i think her name is kimiko)

her perseverance, her determination to stand up for the principles she firmly believes(:

her warmth , her lovable dorkiness

how she always puts her students first

and believes that for her students:

once her student, ALWAYS her student(:

it's really heartening :D

and i really do believe there are teachers like that around

perhaps not so extreme as to be a yakuza boss -.- but but but

i believe such a spirit exists in some teachers(:

if i were to recall personally whether such teachers existed in my life,

to be frank, there's only a few that really made an impact in my life(:

nevertheless, a teacher involves many sacrifices and i truly believe that if they have a passion for teaching, they have a desire to care and do their best for their students(:

so we must always treasure the teachers in our life:D

personally,

the female teacher's role in the movie is one of my ideal future in life(:

the kind whereby i can make a difference in perhaps the life of delinquents

make them see the light, inspire them to turn over a new leaf

and as quoted by her- if you mess up, regret it and have the courage to start all over again(:

i think this is meaningful because sometimes we might not have such courage to do so

because it is painful. we must regain the trust others had in us, we must muster the courage to look forward and ignore the negative comments by others and yet truly appreciate the people who stand by us(:

whenever i want to become a social worker,

i'll think that i want to be there for people who think that no one is there for them

because i know that's not true.

there'll ALWAYS be someone there for you(:

that's something i'm VERY confident of

and even if there really isn't , once i get to know you

i'll definitely be there for you(:

that's my motivation to help people(: i'm waiting for the day i can tell someone what i mentioned above(: it might seem fake, it might not mean anything

but its something i sincerely mean and i will put in my best to achieve it(:

actually, after i watched the movie,

i was wondering to myself, why didn't i think of being a teacher

especially since i could really see myself

being there for my students in future

who could also be delinquents,

persevering and getting them to turn over a new leaf?

it might not even need to be delinquents, it might just be normal students

who need help(:

BUT BUT i suddenly thought of how cruel reality can be.

i'm positively sure that there are many teachers there

which thought in the same way as me

when they first entered the profession

but i wonder how many of them truly still believe in these ideals

in the face of all the admin work and huge amounts of stress and pressure

from different people:(

that's really something pathetic.

of course i applaud those teachers who stay firm to their beliefs and passion(:

i know there are such teachers(:

suddenly i realise

i need to reconsider.

as in, i truly believe that my purpose in life is to help people

and to make a difference in the lives of people(:

but ... to help which group of people?

i think that's s0mething i need to ponder about

seek advice from people

gain inspiration

and perhaps go through life to gain experience

before i truly truly know which group of people i want to serve(:

or rather, which groups of people i want to serve.

plus a random encounter with one of the hawker centre aunty

this morning made me think about it too..

she said that helping people is good

but we must be careful about which type of people we help

for some people, the more we help, the more they expect from us and take us for granted

( note: being taken for granted sucks big time)

and they get worse instead of better

which totally defeats the purpose of helping them in the first place

because in the end, we are the ones that get hurt.

however, there's a group of people that

will truly turn over a new leaf

and benefit from our help(:

and i believe those are the type of people

that many would gain satisfaction from helping(:

yet, if we start to differentiate between the people who we can help

won't we be discriminating and in the end , not helping those that perhaps need more help?

no doubt that there are people who take advantage of the help we give

and it is indeed pathetic and infuriating

but but if we just give up on them just because we don't see any improvement in them

and instead we end up being the ones getting drained,

what's the point of helping them in the first place?

everyone deserves to be helped in some way or another.

and i acknowledge that we can't help everyone

be it for personal reasons or geographical reasons

but but i believe that we should always try our best to help those that we can help

to hang on even if they don't appreciate your help

to never give up on them(: we are all humans and we do have feelings

so as long as you try hard enough for someone,

miracles happen.(:

but again, this is what i think(:

it might seem idealistic and perhaps even naive of me

and sometimes i know perhaps even i can't practice what i preach

but but no matter what,

i believe in the importance of having your own set of life principles and beliefs

because that defines you

and your life(:

certain life principles evolve as your views change but some will always remain unchanged

so it's okay to change perspectives , like to see others in a different way

but as long as we are answerable to our own principles, our own conscience

i guess thats all that matters(: because

its OUR life- the decisions we make for ourselves are the ones that are most meaningful(:

im happy i see a similarity

between me and that teacher(:

the fact that we stick firmly to our beliefs and principles(:

perhaps i waver in some situations

but its only natural because no one is perfect

but i'm positive that in my whole life

i'll always be striving to be such a person(:

okayy:D enough of reflective stuff

i realise that jap guys can be quite shuai

and i like the guy trainee teacher who used to be the female teacher's student(:

shuai! cool!

appreciates everything the female teacher does

but pretends to be nonchalent

but cares about her and always tries to protect her(:

awww<333

maybe i like such a guy heh:D

or maybe not?

okay(:

this is such a long post!

smile(:

lyon