I realised this is something I had never explored before. Perhaps it's really true.

Because I have never ever been really poor before..so I will never know how is it like to only survive on one meal per day, to walk long distances to cut down on transport fares.

no matter how broke i am, at the back of my mind,

i know i can always manage to get money somehow.

so i don't know how to fight.

i have stayed a perfectionist, only willing to see myself as a social worker for the rest of my life.

but in reality, i'm going to face so much obstacles and troubles and my entire life will be at risk of being screwed up.

If you want to help others, you cannot be poor.

I have never truly admitted this phrase because I have only been living in my own sheltered world, having my own beliefs that a good heart will solve everything. But, to be realistic, it's all crap. Yes, of course you must begin with a heart that's willing to help. Despite that.... ultimately....

It still boils down to money.

One chance for success before I succeed in my other dream of a social worker.

Life is but the fufilment of a dream after another. Firstly, we must dare to dream. Dream of our wants and desires.

Why not create my dream and work hard for it now ?

When people start to change, instead of gossiping behind their back,

why not ask yourself, maybe they grew up while you're still stuck at that same level.

don't all of us have dreams? (:

why have we given up on them?

because we're afraid. because we think too much.

and this fear makes us try to comfort ourself

by telling ourself that

this is how life is.

but no, life is about fighting for dreams ,for goals(:

that's why it's meaningful.

i feel like i have so much to blog about.

because this recent period

has been a really unique period

whereby i made many self-realizations

about myself, about society and about life.

i feel like writing all of these thoughts down

but somehow i just have no idea where to start.

if you're interested in knowing more, just text me or smth like that to meet up and chat yea?

i'm a normal human being

that will inevitably fall into the trap of experiencing the negative feelings of the 7 sins.

as much as i hate to admit it,

i know its true.

but i must be happy about it.

because that's when i know i have to improve.

grow up people.

you have to realize the importance of money and your future one day.

don't dwell in your comfort zone and wait for things to happen.

jiayou!

lyon

just a quick post before i go to sleep.

people walk in and out of your life.

some leave deeper impressions than others,

some leave blessings and hope

while some leave scars and wounds.

i have always hoped that

i'll leave a smile behind

whenever I walk in or out of someone's life.

(:

it's that simple.

because a smile can have a big impact.

a smile has the ability to bring joy and heal wounds.

but many don't give this generously.

sometimes, i feel that even myself,

i'm not smiling as often as i used to,

for whatever reason,

i think i know ... yet maybe i don't.

ah well.

goodnight.

i am just like any other normal human being.

experiencing ugly emotions , feelings and frustrations.

but, i'm sick of it.

maybe all along i've been taking things too seriously

i've been overwhelmed by everything

i've been thinking too much.

because,

by just taking a step back ,

i realize that there's so much for me in life to appreciate.(:

things that i have forgotten as time goes by.

all i need to do is to take a deep breath

and just move forward.

it's not the time you take to reach your destination that matters,

it's the experience and story you can share when you reach

that truly matters and stays with you.

if only i can always think this way.

lyon

taking a step back mentally.

i suddenly realize there's so much in life for me to appreciate and be thankful for.

especially some people whom recently came into my life once again =)

thanks.

i've been too overwhelmed , such that i overlooked the existence of you guys.

=)

today, i realized a couple of things but there were two things in particular that created really deep impressions on me.

firstly, the reality check. the power of network. the power of connections. it's the ugly, scary but unavoidable truth, it's the way society works. it's something that i need. especially if i were really to help people in future.

Life in Dunman High is really way too sheltered. The way we perceive things, view things, view life will not make us as successful as we really wish to be.

Seriously, education decisions in life aren't as important as we believe they are.

People who are reading my blog at this moment:

please sincerely ask yourself, you really think your future will be guaranteed stable once you've achieved certain educational degrees?

There's this saying that really struck me :

" RI pple rule the world but ACI pple own the world"

I'm glad that I'm realizing this fact in life earlier than many of my peers.(:

Because I have more time to change my life and to make a difference.

I need the financial capability to see my comfortably through my social work journey. I don't want to see myself in quarrels with families and friends because of financial issues. Plan for the future so that we don't end up regretting in future.

For my dream, my goal, I'll persevere on.(:

secondly, i forgot to remind myself of the fact that i managed to create such a significant difference in someone's life.(: it's something i always am very proud of because I did it based on my own beliefs and trust and way :D

really. I'm so proud and happy of you when you tell me how you want to help others

and bring light to other people's lives.(:

you. the change in you. make me able to believe in myself(:

have faith in my ability to bring hope and make a difference in other's lives

and i hope that my efforts for you will be the motivation for you to make the effort for other people

inspire them the way i inspired you(: but inspire them your way.

spread the inspiration =)

i must learn to believe.

you are the one that is the strongest factor of why i should believe in myself.

so, ( i know you're reading this)

stay strong (: positive and

thank you hidayat:)

i appreciate your existence.

(:

anyway, recently,

many people have been showing care and concern for me

in their different ways.

different ways make me react differently.

some make me tear, some make me touched,

some make me so angry with myself for being so pathetic and weak

many many ways. but i sincerely appreciate them (:

smile(:

lyon

i hate it when i'm so weak.

i know everyone's trying to help me with good intentions

but i'm such a loser.

irritated and fed up with myself.

when will i get stronger?

damn.

this is depressing.

while reading some articles about positive thinking, i realised that i forgot all about one thing that i used to always tell myself and others...

to be happy, we either have to change the world or ourselves. To be realistic, we cannot change the world, we can only change ourselves but yet, the beauty lies in the fact that when we start to change ourselves, our world is slowly being positively changed (:

add more footstops behind the events in our life.

and move on.(:

life is but a process and a journey (: treasure each step taken.

how to improve myself?

something i think i must question myself more ...

smile(:

maybe it's the teasing

maybe it's the smooth flow of things

maybe it's the smiles

maybe it's the bread

maybe it's the coke or sweet

maybe it's the laughter

maybe it's the care

maybe it's the concern

maybe it's the clearing

maybe its the joy of simply having people you treasure there with you

maybe it's the feeling of doing your part

maybe it's the thought

maybe it's the debrief

maybe it;'s the wonton noodles

maybe its the msn chat

......

too many maybes

but everything warms up my heart(:

just want to say

THANK YOU:)

not to anyone or anything in particular

but to everything:D

i will treasure and learn and appreciate more:d

smile(:

it's been proven again.

everytime i feel negative,

life always arranges something positive to cheer me up.(:

smile(:

WARNING. the post below is going to be a negative one so yea,

don't read it if you're looking for positivity yea?

argh.

today's a special day.

the last day of april

but it's been a thought-provoking day(:

in fact, sometimes nowadays i find myself thinking much more about things

and yet trying to keep everything simple

haha what an irony.

at times when we feel lonely or tired

we just need to give ourselves time

because something good will come along our way

and brighten up our day(:

that's always something i firmly believe in

because it has happened to me not just once

but many many times...

it's indeed blissful

to have a shoulder to lean on in times of need

or a listening ear to just simply be there(:

all of us should aspire to be there for each other,

shouldn't we?

i just suddenly realised something about myself

that i need to change as soon as possible

in order to be a good social worker.

actually it's been a character flaw of mine for very long

but i just didn't put in enough effort to try to change it><

i'm not firm enough.

i bother about what other people think of me.

i'm too soft.

how to be someone that people can depend on?

we are bound to offend people

because we can't make everyone happy

but most importantly

the question to ourselves

is

are we doing the right thing?

(:

if it is,

then just continue doing it(:

one thing that really dawned upon me is

to rest when appropriate(:

jiayou.