hello!(=

i can't seem to get started on work
cuz i'm so tired=/
must be the drowziness effect of the cough medicine. ><

yupp for those who didn't know,
i had sore throat in the past weekend
which developed to hoarse throat
whereby i lost my voice
and now it's evolved to cough and phlegm ><
argh. i also don't know why i keep falling sick nowadays :(
haha but okay la, i also didn't take care of myself well
so yea, will just focus on recovering (=

it suddenly struck me how impactful one person can be to another person
in any context(=

all of us have the ability to impact others around us (=
that's something i truly believe in.

start smiling (=

hello(=

i want to dedicate this blog post to two very important people to me(=
my boyfriend and my godbro (=
(cuz i know you 2 are my regular blog readers xD )

BRANDON ANG!
thankyou.<3 words cannot express how thankful, happy and fortunate I am to have found you and have you as my bf (= thankyou for understanding and knowing me so well, knowing when i'm down, knowing when i'm sian and always knowing how to make me revert back to my cheerful and happy self(= thankyou for "forcing" me to make those promises - i truly truly appreciate it from the bottom of my heart and these promises make me feel that i'm not alone <3 thankyou once again for accepting me for who i am - i know sometimes i tend to think too much and probably yes, i'm a little more fragile that i expect myself to be - so yupp(= i'm glad u don't reject my flaws and continue to love me for who i am (: for that, i feel very blessed. probably one of the happiest girls on earth (= so yea thankyou and love you very very much<3

HIDAYAT!
when you told me about your 8 credits to get promoted, I was really really damn happy for you because i know your hard work paid off(= i'll be praying for you for the final credit points xD
glad that things in ur life are going much betteR(= despite the sickeningly unavoidable school life and sian PW haha but yupp work hard, persevere and i know that you will conquer all these and emerge as a stronger hidayat(= able to help more people (= you are another person that i must thank(= thanks for always sending me offline msgs or smses or now, tags on blog to wish me all the best and to have a nice day(= they really mean alot to me cuz they brighten up my day(=
keep smiling and jiayou!(=

(=

hello (=

i'm in the mood of slacking and i just don't feel like doing anything.
but i know that's bad
so i thought i need blog therapy (=

i hate the haze. =(
haiz.

oh well..but anyway, i think fate really works wonders
because of so many days, i chose to try the 197 bus route today(=
and i actually met mr haryanto! (=
haha damn happy to see him la, my big brotherly figure ^^
suddenly, i think that we should learn how to cherish and treasure the people around us more
because it's really affinity
that binds us together(=
have you ever thought that why is it that out of so many people out there in the world,
you got to know XXX? haha (= such a cool and mystical thought (=

today, once again,
the concept that expectations lead to disappointment
popped up again during my an intellectual discussion(=
not that i didn't know beforehand but rather,
sometimes you need reminders for these kind of things(=

actually i think the key to being happy is rather simple:
1. know how to be content and to cherish
2. don't expect too much (=

smile(=

hellooo!(=

history essay- DONE
+ social work reflection paper- DONE
+ social work tutorial preparation- DONE
+ white cardigan - DONE
= HAPPY =)

yay (= huge load off my mind(=
and it's time for me to take a short breather before mugging again for SOCI mid terms
and finish up my social work newspaper portfolio ^^

for tonight,

lyon is a very very very happy girl (=

smile (=

:(

rahh.

history essay is killing me .

hello!

just a quick post here before i go off preparing to go take my south asian midterm test(:

i really hope it's do-able =/
i guess one reason why im so worried is because
south asian studies has always been a module that i have always been struggling to understand
but what pleases me is that
when i really start studying it
i kind of understand it(=
it's actually quite interesting(:
please give me luck later(:

got back my history midterm result(:
i did better than expected
but of course, cannot be complacent because it was an open book test
and i practically copied everything from the lecture notes =/
and now i'm praying for my social work grades for midterm.

PLEASE LET ME GET AT LEAST A B :)
*i'm not confident about social work :( *

it's funny how the thoughts and feelings of receiving exam grades start entering my life again -.-

no matter what pple do for me,
whether small or big stuff,
i always tell myself to appreciate them.
because as long as the effort or the thought is there,
it's really enough for me.

but what you did for me last night,
is not just worth my appreciating,
but its worth my loving. (=

thankyou.

today will be a better day! xD

hello!

currently, I'm sitting in NLB reference library
and killing my brain cells over a history essay.:(

sigh. sigh. sigh. sigh. sigh. sigh.

i don't like real history essays, the kind that you have to do much research about it
and be super careful about citation and stuff :(


okayy, now im trying to recover that lost passion in writing history essays
the days that i used to also kill my brain cells over history essays given by ms krishnan
ahh nolstagic. but i didn't think i'll go through the same unfortunate process again.:(
ohh well.
nvm nvm, i shall keep myself motivated:

afterall, I was an "A" grade history student leh!
how bad can things get right?(:
i just need to do my best, keep trying
at least I still have some time, not alot but still, i guess should be sufficient(:
and at least i finished my social work draft (:

feeling damn sian now, so yea using my blog to rant xD

on a more positive note,
at least i know someone's coming over later
and that makes me happier (:

jiayou!!!! (:

1 month has passed....

and many more sweeter months will come<3

smile :D

hello(:

i have no idea why i'm blogging
because I don't really have anything in mind to blog.

so i'll blog random stuff.

Just suddenly feel overwhelmed by many things happening to me at the same time,
but it's not all bad things,
there's a good mix(:

i always believed that
the way to forge relationships with people
is to treat them sincerely from the bottom of your heart(:
and this is still what i'm believing up till now.

i think one super big flaw of mine is indecisiveness.
probably it's because i'm always scared of making the wrong decisions and regretting.
but yet,
i also know that i should just follow my heart and stick with it.
trust my intuition and go with it.
lyon, you need to train up.

jiayou(:

helllo(:

i'm in a reflective mood now so i decided to blog!

it's been a long and tiring week
with the submission of one graded essay plus one graded presentation
plus 2 mid term tests. =/

I did my best for the graded essay and surprisingly, the graded presentation went on quite well(:
my first mid test was okay-okay,
but the stupid word limit killed me la-.-
sian i always knew i needed to write answers that were short , sweet and succint.
i'm just hoping that the teachers won't find my answers too messy:(

my second mid test was social work mid test!!
it was on a Friday night la.
well , for that test, all i can say is that i did my best.
i left early because i felt damn stressed, the last few questions that i had problem with
was that i really didn't know the answer so i guessed the answer.
after that, i just felt damn tramautised :(
i also don't know why- maybe social work really meant alot to me?
so although i did my best, i just felt that i should have known how to do or i could do better?
aiyah. oh well its over so no point thinking about it .
but....please let me do well =/
luckily going out with brandon after that cheered me up <3 <3
chompchomp.fried carrot cake n hokkien mee.super nice mango dessert.
mini adventure from seranggoon to ang mo kio.bus ride.talking through drawing.
and all the chats n talks with you(:
loved every moment of it <3


anyway, a little bit of unhappiness later at night
which probably gave rise to a super horrible dream(not that the content is related)
that seemed damn real lah! =x
omg i was so happy and relieved when i realised i could wake up
and everything was just a dream =.=
probably cuz i reflected after having that dream
so i'm feeling quite reflective now(:



there's no way someone can always stay so happy and positive
because people were born to experience different emotions
and go through different experiences in life.
everytime i feel sad, some part of me will scold myself and think
i've already got so much reasons to be happy
i've already got people in my life who make me happy n feel damn lucky to have them
how can i feel unhappy? how can i feel so unappreciative that i've got what i got
and go on wilfully feeling sad and crying over reasons that might actually be super minor?
and another part of me will defend myself and think
there's nothing wrong in being sad and crying
because you're human. it's natural .
everyone else that you have seen crying before also has many things in life that can make them happy but they still naturally cry when they feel sad. so why can't you?
and then another part will think
but you're going to be a social worker,
shouldn't you be a mentally stronger and tougher person and not a weakling?
and so this internal struggle and discussion will not end up anywhere
and usually i'll just come up with the conclusion that
yes, i can be sad but i'll just hide myself away first
and come out again when i've successfully healed myself.
and be a happy and positive girl once again(:
because i like to make people happy and not make people sad.

but that only applies to me(:
i want to be there for others who feel sad so i must be a stronger person(:

it can be quite a painful process
and everytime i'm tempted to " share the pain"
it's not that i don't want to
but i just can't bring myself to =(

sometimes i really really hate having this flaw
of thinking too much for others
because ironically i know i can't make everyone happy.
yet it seems selfish to only make myself happy.
but i'm looking forward to changing this flaw
with your help<3

positively thinking,
i'm only 19(:
so i still got time.

and i got people in my life
that i really appreciate and treasure
and draw strength from(:
i got happy memories in my mind
that i can always look back when im scared or sad

and most importantly, at least i'm alive(:
being alive is a blessing and i rmb reading somewhere before that
every breath you take is a miracle(:
no matter how sad i am or how screwed up some things in my life might be
i know all this will change as long as i'm alive
cuz when i'm alive, i can make changes
cuz when i'm alive, i got time to make changes(:
because when i'm alive, there's always hope.(:
everyone is entitled to hope.
(:
when someone feels damn sick and sian of life,
its because everything in life feels so overwhelming that
he/she has forgotten how to hope.
but with help, hope will return
because it's such a subconscious fundamental part of us(:
and this is my main motivation to be a social worker(:

so no matter what happens,
i'll just hang on to this belief of giving people hope. (: