hello(:

just felt like blogging a quick post before i start to mug for my third paper(:

The past 2 papers have not been good but at least i did my best(: Sometimes, exams are all about luck and fate.

Can't wait for exams to be over, like seriously.

jiayou jiayou(:

hello(:

here i am, feeling very blessed and happy,using my laptop on a Sunday afternoon(: don't get me wrong, i'm still very much concerned and stressed over my exams that are arriving in less than one week but sometimes, it's really good to take a break in the midst of exams :D i'm so glad i organized yday's YLF outing(: as a farewell outing for py, a mini bday surprise outing and just a simple outing to catch up, enjoy and have fun(:

it's been quite long since i laughed so hard, since i felt like i could just do anything that i feel like doing, say anything that i feel like saying, that sense of freedom, knowing that i'll still be accepted even when i get thick skinned and ask for treats and self-praise blah blah :D i just felt very "me" (: just be who i am and how i feel like i want myself to be, not that i'm not myself normally but the sense of happiness and enjoyment i feel is really undescribable (: yes, a very warm feeling and i really adore that feeling so very very much (:

It kind of relieved certain stress issues of mine recently, and here i am realising once ever again that it does'nt really matter whether you are highly popular or you have alot of friends or the opposite of that, because ultimately, it's being yourself and being happy that really matters(: I have people there who care for me and I shouldn't be blinded by certain irrational wants or beliefs or else, i won't be treasuring them enough (: and having said this many times to my godbro, i realise once again that as long as i have at least one person in my life who cares, i can't say no one cares and i can't say i am alone or disliked (: and i am a blessed girl cuz i definitely have people in my life who care for me, accept me for who i am.

so yes i'm really glad i had yday's outing with YLF <3 it's really amazing how despite always coming from different backgrounds and different lives, we're still able to click together (: I'll always treasure this affirnity(: thankyou<3

and thanks dear<3 for coming all the way from home to dhoby gaut at night just to send me home cuz you were worried for my safety on the way home(: you're another one that i must always thank and treasure very dearly too <3

i feel more motivated to study hard now(: jiayou!!!

hello world(:

Reflective morning today. I got up early, thinking of going to jog to let my hair grow faster but ended up just doing random stuff during my morning jog/walk outside, as well as having my normal reflective sessions with myself. It's been my way of handling pent up emotions and troubles and blah blah ever since sec sch days. It's pretty therapeutic (:

because my neighbourhood's where I grew up , having happy memories and just simply enjoy life.


I do wish, at times, that life can just be as simple as our childhood days, whereby we have weaker cognitive and physical abilities and even social abilities, when everything is just an interesting exploration.

i've been plagued by bouts of insecurities and stress recently, leaving me feeling rather unsettled and tired. And when I try to pick myself up, I unknowingly fall into it again.

Perhaps I haven't matured yet.
That's why I still struggle with irrational beliefs planted in me from the past. That's why I still struggle to reason with myself , handle my childish thoughts and even feeling responsible and guilty for everything. It seems like a riddle to me, so when will my riddle ever be solved?

But, I'll try. I'll try to grow up and mature. I'll try to see myself for who I truly am, see life for what it truly is, appreciate and treasure and cherish more. (:

I'll try to be a happy girl who can determine and decide my feelings by my own, instead of an insecure and inferior girl who always feels affected by others.

I am TIRED.

but yay, finally the last assignment for semester 2 is done!(: the final hurdle left- EXAMS!

i can't wait for exams to finish!! It's robbing me of my mood to do everything else EXCEPT STUDY. yah i know that's very ideal during exam period but still, studying sucks :( oh well.

When exams finish, I'll make sure I really get to enjoy myself and buy stuff and watch movies and blah blah blah (: and i have an overseas trip to look forward too! (: but for now, I feel so exhausted, I think i'll go and sleep (:

goodnight.


anyway, just came across this phrase that means something like, you should not be sad over losing something/someone, you should feel happy that you once had it/him/her. suddenly makes me feel like i should treasure and be happy for all the people i have in my life :)

hello(: i just suddenly felt like blogging, but yes, I know I should be studying hard for the upcoming exams. Sigh. While studying downstairs just now, memories of how I used to mug for exams in school last time just suddenly came back to me. I'm pretty glad I'm in university actually, at least I have lesser such mugging moments. So for those studying for Alevels, hang in there k!(: Especially godbro, jiayou! :D Feeling quite happy now because my soulmate updated me on her life again<3 can't wait to meet her after exams la! :D she always makes me realise the simple things in life, like having dreams and goals and pursuing them ,just being content with what you have or just leading life the way you want to lead it, a simple nice life that doesn't need to have much glamour or crowd, but just true good quality relationships. (: I realised I do have some irrational thoughts and beliefs( i shan't reveal them here) and I feel that I should start making an effort in getting rid of them. But, oh well, everyone's problematic and bound to have some irrationalities (: I feel that I should be very content with what I have. (: Yet, sometimes, it's really human nature to be greedy. Question is how to strike a balance? I guess I need to try to find an answer. jiayou people, especially you <3

i just need a place to rant. and i'm thankful i have this blog that has accompanied me for about 6 to 7 years(: i hate it when i have to pretend everything's okay. when i have to control the emotions in me that just feel like bursting out, that suffocates me and engulfs me and just pisses me off. I hate it when I feel so selfish and yet so tortured at the same time, torn between what i don't want to do and what I have to do. I hate it how I'm feeling so horrible about this when I know there are much worse scenarios and things I could feel horrible about. I hate it when I can't express the degree of my feelings. I hate it when I don't feel that I have gotten the kind of understanding that I want. but don't worry, amidst all the hateful things in life, I still know there are positive things out there for me to cherish(: it's just that I'm in a hateful mood now.

Morning(: My SIM card is screwed up and i have to go down to a starhub service centre outlet to replace it, so for now , I'm temporarily uncontactable. It's times like these whereby I truly realise my dependence on my handphone, for communication and my clock :( I hope it'll be fine , with the replacement SIM card. (: Social work people are really very nice. Haha from the discussion on the fb page, the questions posed and how people answered, to even the simplest things like helping each other out during lecture, it just makes me feel so warm and happy to be part of the social work family (: I feel a little stressed with the upcoming 2105 assignment deadline next tuesday as well as the looming exams in a few weeks time. But, somehow , life has taught me that no matter how many things can come at one time or one after each other, it'll all be fine in the end... if not it's not the end yet. (: Sometimes, I wish I didn't have that high expectations of myself. When someone asks you not to think about something and you continue thinking about it, is it your fault? Technically it should be your fault because you did something that you should not be doing.. But then again, who can really be the judge of your actions? Unless it's morally incorrect, like committing a crime. Could it be the fault of the other person cause what should be done should be to address the issue and talk about it and not shelve it away by not thinking about it? But, it's not fair to the other person too because the other person could have meant well by saying that. So, at the end of the day, it still seems to be your fault, because you're responsible for your own actions. Depressingly true. Change is probably needed.