hello (:

it's the end of recess week!

While that's supposed to mean bad news, I feel surprisingly refreshed and ready
to take on the challenges of school again. A big contrast from my previous post, I guess?
Well, don't get me wrong, I'm really as stressed as ever. But, I'm counting my blessings,
people who have cheered me up and brightened my life over the past recess week
and helped to alleviate my stress. (:

Although there're so many projects but I guess I'm glad and fortunate to be working with
nice people and they're a joy to work with. (: People really matter in project work! So, thank you to all who are doing project with me . (:
Of course, there're assignments that I have to do individually, which I feel really stressed up about- Yes I fear that my CAP will drop..but oh well, I guess after going through so many academic years, the best advice I can give myself is to just give it my best and leave the rest to fate. (=

There're also people who are always there for me.(: Like my boyfriend, who tries to encourage me and secretly stress me by being so disciplined and hardworking :D haha. just kidding, I'm really proud of him actually. I'm a bad example. haha. I do look upon him as a good example for me <3

And there's my godbrother, who gave me my part two belated birthday present today afternoon by treating me to a splendid meal and games at Mind Cafe@ Funan (: Spotting pictures and playing Risk -where i managed to conquer Asia( because it's green on the map so I wanted to conquer it :p ) But, seriously, it was a good break because we talked alot, ate alot, played alot and just relaxed- amidst such stressful times, I really appreciate and treasure such chill-out times (:

And there's my ganma, Jeanine, who's really such a dear elder sister to me(: her facebook msg to me came at the right time :D she's someone so dear and close to me and so her encouragement and everything really mean alot to me:) I'm so looking forward to our outing at the end of the year! <3 this gives me motivation!

And there's my new bro :D Keith (: who so nicely gave me a call from Australia before he proceeds to the desert haha:D It was such a pleasant surprise for me , because I don't really get overseas phonecalls :D the effort and money to use to find out how i am because i told him i was stressed really cheered me up. it's a sign of real care and concern:D Oh and i received a card from Australia too from another friend:D happy happy ahha.

And incidents such as interacting with visually handicapped people-who strike me as positive people in their own way. (: There's always so much to learn from people- whom society deems as less useful and able but actually, there's so much strength and hope dwelling in them that makes me think that we really need to learn from them(: Visually handicapped people who stress over simple daily things can still find joy in living, what's more me? When I'm only stressed by my busy schedule and academic requirements :/

Okay, so even though I'm really busy and only going to get busier, if I know how to cherish and treasure what I have, I can still be a happy busy woman:D I still can find joy in my life and use this positive energy to touch others and bring joy to them :D

I must jiayou(:

I AM STRESSED.

I have so many things to do but all I want to do is to do brainless stuff.

I have so many things to settle but all I want to do is to withdraw into my shell and cut off all contact with the outside world so I'll be stuck in my own world.

ARGH.

I don't feel like doing anything and this sense of laziness is killing me.

hello(:

it's RECESS WEEK. haha. a BUSY BUSY RECESS WEEK. =(
But, oh well I guess , it's inevitable in university life. (=

anyway, this is an overdue post for a very special day in September- 8th September 2011.
My 20th birthday and 1 year anniversary. (:

My 20th Birthday:

I had a really wonderful birthday celebration with people close to my heart on the special day itself. (: Thankyou to my social work friends who successfully surprised me with a birthday cake and song before lecture in the morning. It was such a pleasant surprise that I was really very touched. (: I felt very blessed to get to know this group of amazing social work friends, that i really sincerely hope our friendship will last forever in our social work journey ahead.
Thanks for all the notes ( Shurlene, jiamin, Deborah) and presents and card :D ( Shurlene, Shamini, Mun Ching, Charmaine , Rachel, Vivian, JiaHui, Fiona, Kheng Hwee, Marian and Dorea :D ) I really feel very very loved. <3

I met up with godbro after that because he wanted to give me my first part of my birthday present on my actual birthday itself. (: It was really really very sweet of him to write me such a long letter and even being so meticulous and thoughtful such as to spend 6 hours on it and even writing a draft. I really appreciate it , especially since I love this kind of penned letters filled with memories and sincerity :D Thank you very very much godbro(: I am looking forward to my part 2 of my present! :D

And after that I met my dear boyfriend(: He gave me a note and a really nice green wallet that was not very cheap =/ but i felt touched that he was willing to splurge on me <3 :D we went for lunch and singapore flyer trip :D It felt so long since we both happily went out on an outing- the harsh reality of school sucks sometimes but oh well, it's this harsh reality that makes us treasure our time together even more. (: More shall be dedicated to my boyfriend in the later part of my post.

Had birthday dinner with my family, which went quite well(: and I managed to have my cake cutting ceremony with my family singing a really heartwarming birthday song to me- i felt really very happy and blessed. :D :D And of course what made me feel even more happy and blessed was ALL the birthday smses and wishes by people :) Each one really brightened up my day :D :D:D It feels really comforting to know that I am being remembered by people who actually make the effort to share my joy with me and give me well wishes on this special day of mine :D

I am a very lucky girl because even before my birthday itself, I already received presents ( wanyi <3 and brandon's parents :D ) as well as a surprise birthday celebration and present from xueting, junya and rebecca<3 i felt really touched because it's really amazing how our friendship still remains strong even after secondary 4 :D I really really hope our friendship will stay like this all the way. (:

Even after my birthday, I was blessed enough to continue receiving presents such as from some whom i mentioned earlier as well as the weijie clique people :D haha funny name but yes - weijie,huiting,carine,huiming,weiwen and brandon:D :D i really appreciated the celebration too<3 very heartwarming and i'm truly glad to know these bunch of people :D I also had a mini cake cutting celebration from project apt committee- joyz,chuanyan,edgar, justin and john:D and of course not forgetting my dearest soulmate , who has such a long friendship with me- it's not just friendship, it's sisterhood, kinship of the highest level i can really ever want(: and of course my ganma :D another person in my life that's so significant, i can't wait for her to come back from australia and we can go celebrate our birthdays:D

This birthday has been fabulous in every single way(: It was really more than I expected and reflecting on the process, i felt really ashamed to be greedy in the first place because when I let go of my greed, what i received was so much more :D I'm not a perfect person, I have my flaws too but what touches me is the acceptance of myself from the people around me, the weight and significance I have in their heart- this makes me even more motivated to cherish every single one of them :D

All of them make my 20th birthday so memorable "(: that I'm actually happy to say that I turned 20. (:

1st year anniversary :D

It's been a year. Time flies so fast. (: But, even in this year, there has been ups and downs but what makes me happy is that the ups outweigh the downs- we've gone through significant times and spend wonderful moments together(: You were always there for me , no matter what, even in my darkest hours once and also even if I became really negative and everything, you never rejected me and always accepted me <3

You brighten up my life and add so much love to it that I feel very lucky that I have met you.(: I remember how I thought that it would be quite hard for me to fall in love and get into a relationship because it was not easy for me to like a guy , especially when I wanted my first boyfriend to be my last- but the sheer quickness of how both of us progressed did not unsettle me , it made me more confident and stunned at how my belief of there being a right guy out there for me was really true (: It's unexplainable but I will cherish our affirnity(:

I don't commit easily but once I commit, I give it my all<3 And I'm willing to commit my entire life to you <3 let's have many many many more anniversaries in front of us, Brandon Ang Wee Ming <3

Okay, that's the end of my overdue post (:

Anw just one more additional part-

JIAYOU AH GODBRO!!!(: I'm still hoping and praying for you to do well for prelims now and subsequently Alevels :D remember you're not alone and I know that your efforts will pay off :D godsis has 101% faith in you so all the way, IF YOU NEED ANY HELP OR ENCOURAGEMENT, you know who to call/sms :D

smile:D

ARGH.

my post got deleted:(

sad. my reflections about my birthday and anniversary will have to WAIT. haha(:

anyway, i have been very busy.:( sighh.

but i had a relevation today! i must be a happily busy girl!(:

haha.

anyway to my dear godbro:

i know you're reading this :p

JIAYOU JIAYOU JIAYOU(: rmb you are NOT alone(:

This morning, I was woken up by my brother's call to be his delivery girl to deliver another pair of shoes to the MRT where he was, because his soles of his shoes were spoilt. Although it was tiring rushing all the way down, but I felt happy when he thanked me and he had good shoes to wear again. (: It's such simple acts that bring us closer and makes me feel happy.

Had a surprise this morning! Py sent me an email reply to my sms about some personal issues that I had recently. Thankyou py(: (:(: There was this sentence that struck me as pretty meaningful:

I think the most important thing in the world starts with making yourself happy,
and you chose it to do it by being contented( in a balance) with yourself and your life.

He made me realise that as I was trying to find a solution to my personal issues, perhaps what I had overlooked or subconsciously been finding is a way to make myself happier. Sticking to my set of life principles, trying to search for the deeper meaning behind things in life, coming up with certain ideas and beliefs to counter obstacles in life that I face as a person -- maybe it's just actually a journey to make myself happier and not just a problem-solving process.(: Things seem quite simpler, with that mindset, in the sense that the next time, I encounter this process again, I will tell myself that I'm searching for the solution that will make me happy.

He also made me realise that sometimes when I get a solution and search for the best way out, it's not just " the right thing to do", it's not just an obligation, a sign of maturity, but it's a way of choosing, a choice that will make myself happy. Being happy can be selfish but usually, it's the happiness derived from selfless behaviour that will make one feel truly happy. :) At times, as I struggle with balancing my own selfish wants and other's wants and needs, I put others before me and although it's painful at times, deep down I know that this is just a small part of my life and if this actions could prevent any unforeseen terrible consequences , it's worth it. (: It's okay to be negative at times because I've been blessed with positivity and happy times so it's only fair. Pain is a symbol of sacrifice but it's not always the end to a sacrifice-sometimes , happiness lies at the end.

I remember how I was really a very happy girl in primary school days. (: Searching for songs of the cartoons and animes that I watched then never fails to make me feel the happiness that I had so many years ago. Sometimes, it's the child inside each of us that's our source of happiness and with this thought in my mind, at times I really want to work with children and impact them positively and give them as bright a childhood that they can have so that they can see their childhood as a source of comfort and hope. (: