Saturday, March 31, 2012
11:31 AM
hello!

I'm back to update my blog! (:

Been really busy recently, with the rushing of assignments, projects, essays!
But, I'm proud to say that my busy period is over! (: Of course, I still have a few more assignments left before my exams, but as they are not social work assignments,
i feel less pressured and stressed to do them. When you're doing something for your major,
you tend to have higher expectations and hence, more stressed- at least that's how it is for me. (:

So yes, my busy period ended on Thursday! (: So thursday, friday and half of today( up till now) are my self-declared "no-work days" :D haha. Initially , the whole of Thursday was supposed to be "no-work" day but then I decided to change a major part of my essay due on that day.. because I felt that I interpreted the meaning of " Child-centricity" too simply and did not fully understand that it was actually more than a description of practices that benefit the child but more of an abstract guiding principle that all social workers should follow (: I hope I interpreted it right though! But yep, I was rushing my assignment like crazy on Thursday and was so glad when I finished!

Went for spontaneous shopping with shurlene at orchard :D and yay love the feeling of freedom gotten from walking, chattig and shopping (: i love freedom haha. had a very nice chat like always and realized that sometimes similar circumstances breed better empathizing and understanding (: haha. anw bought something GREEN! yay(: i need to get more green clothes, especially since i wear green for many occassions (:

Met brandon for a nice dinner after that :D and i bought denim shorts- something i've always wanted for very long but always can't bring myself to buy it or always been affected by the price haha. I think the scholarship money has been a great temptation for me to spend more money ahah. But, I'll do my best to exercise discretion. (; Anyway ya so it was a wonderful day (:
I bought stuff I wanted, ate a nice dinner , shopped, talked and relaxed :D Can't wait for another round after exams yay (:

Anyway, friday was GREAT too (: I was feeling kind of generous and happy so I bought wafers for everyone and putu piring for debs and shur ( i sort of owe them 2100 haha :p). and yeps meeting for grad night was okay! (: haha shurlene's such an efficient partner to work with! i feel a little slacker though- oops i should start to jiayou for it (: and BADMINTON WAS GREAT!
i remember laughing alot, having so much fun playing, refereeing and boon 's amazing stunt ! ahah :D i love these bunch of social work friends - they never fail to brighten up my day, make me laugh, feel loved and warm and yea, add sparks to my university life <3

After that, while I was returning books at Serangoon Library, I suddenly noticed how nice the skyview was from the sky roof (: and it made me feel so rejuvenated and refreshed, made me feel that there's so much to life, the beauty of everything around us that can just strike this chord in our hearts when we stop and observe and take in all their beauty. Wishing that i could capture that moment, i realised that while i could have used a camera, perhaps what i really wanted to capture was that feeling instead (:

And had a spontaneous meetup with my ganma ! (: yay love her vv much <3 love how we live so near each other , that makes all these spontaneous meet ups and wonderful night chats possible.
it's been so long but i'm so glad we're still as close as ever, always there to support one another and sincerely feeling happy for each other over happy things (: she's always a source of support and inspiration to remind me to press on (:(: haha. my soulmate's also another wonderul source of support , inspiration and motivation(; she shared with me this quote that reminded me to perservere, for hope will arrive with perseverance. <3 looking forward to meeting her soon! (:
Also had a wonderful chit-chat with my godbrother (: which was enjoyable too :D :D keeping in regular contact does help to strengthen bonds and i couldn't help but feel so touched and happy for my godbro, who's really so much more confident, capable, mature and positive from the first time i met him (:

Suddenly, I feel that actually, I've been very blessed by life and I need to learn to be contented. I need to learn that comparison is meaningless, I need to learn that greed is boundless and can be overcome with contentment. I need to learn to just see myself for who I am, put trust and faith in those who love me for who I am and do my best for them and myself. While I'm so inadequate in many areas, I do have my strengths too (:

Counting my blessings make me feel very loved in life (: I'm studying something I love, I'm having a great university life with wonderful social work friends, uni friends and a boyfriend whom i see a future with, I have close friends from my previous schools or just camps etc , I have my "family" friends , who I know that they will always be there for me and I meet up regularly with them, I have a complete family, I'm on scholarship , I'm going on exchange , I'm healthy and able to be happy :D I have many many more things that perhaps while I envy others, I lose sight of them and how people could be envying me for them now.

I guess, what's most important in life is to, ENJOY(:
work for what i want and treasure what i have <3 :D

smile(:

Friday, March 23, 2012
9:59 PM
i sprained my ankle today. :(
during a tutorial.
damn fail la.

i'm feeling pretty crappy now:(
my ankle hurts and im tired,
i don't feel like doing any work cuz i'm tired.
but tomorrow , i have food hunt so i cannot don't do any work :(
i suddenly don't feel like going for food hunt ><
super sian. rahh. see how tomorrow bah.

i hate it how sometimes, no one except myself, truly understands and empathize with me.

sigh.

Thursday, March 15, 2012
9:37 PM
Hello!

I just had this sudden urge to blog! (:

Perhaps it's because I saw this very meaningful sentence on Wanyi's blog:

"Happiness, afterall , is a choice, not a given" (:

It's so true. While we all have our fair share of negative moments in life,
I guess having this reminder in us, that we can be happy again,
allows us to pick ourselves up and be happy again. (: It's always something that I believe in,
something that makes me believe that there's really so much more to life.

I got my second placement result!
I'm going to be placed at MCYS Family Welfare :):)
While I'm glad I got my first choice, I can't help but feel sad for those who didn't get
their choices, I really hope reballoting saves the day!
And my placement partner is going to be Shurlene! haha what a small world :D
I really hope this placement trains me in the way that Joyz hoped my second placement would train me to be, as well as make me a more capable and better social worker that I hope for myself to be(: A reason why I took it up was because it seemed more challenging than MCYS child protection and the supervisor was recommended by Dr Nair (:

I want something more challenging because I feel that with regards to social work, I've been in my comfort zone for very long, I've started only doing what's necessary to do to score well academically, which yes, a very practical but depressing mindset, because I know there's so much more to learning social work. Also, I wanted something that's not so specialized, as a student social worker, I wish for my learning experience to be a Jack-of-all-trades :D whereby since I learnt about child protection already through SW3219, I want to try something else.
Afterall, who knows where I'll end up in future? Exposure in the various areas seems more useful and beneficial for my future(: I think I will only know where my heart lies after I work with the different clientale groups. I really hope I can live up to the challenge.

Recently, I feel that my brain has started to slow down. Either it's because I'm tired or I'm losing my intellectual capacity, sigh. Haha. okay hopefully it's not the second option. Sometimes, I feel that I'm not quick enough in thinking, not adept enough in analyzing and that I'm lacking in so many different areas. Also, I've started to feel more antisocial :( I think it's the " I'm tired and I just want to finish my work " mode.

It's times like that where I worry about my task-oriented character, which can potentially
harm the relationship I have with my future clients. I need to start getting myself in check,knowing myself better and being myself more. (: I think I'm not as good as I thought I am, abeit depressing, but knowing it will make me more realistic and equipped for the future in term of expectations and skills.

Jiayou ah Lyon(: You know you can do it.

Thursday, March 08, 2012
11:58 PM
it's one of those times whereby you feel that knowing where you've gone wrong doesn't help
because you don't feel like you have the ability or capacity to correct yourself.
annoying feeling of helplessness just kicks in and yet you know, deep down that,
this is probably just a phase- you are capable enough. soon, you'll start believing in yourself again.

deep thoughts and ramblings,
when i wake up tomorrow,
things will be fine.

i need fruit basket therapy (:

11:50 PM
it's funny how contradictory things in life can be,
or rather how feelings just don't match things for the wrong reasons
and while nothing can be done about those,
the fact that it's a mismatch is disturbing.

i feel quite disgusted.
i know i'm at fault and yet when i admit it,
i feel that i am not the one at fault.

everything feels like an irony.

Saturday, March 03, 2012
11:51 PM
To be able to smile on my journey back home,
thinking about the memories and fun shared earlier..
i really feel so blessed to have my social work friends <3

Life is really a balance between good and bad things.
Like today, I experienced both good and bad, but upon reflection,
it makes me feel that today's quite a fufilling day (=