Sunday, May 27, 2012
6:55 PM
hello! (:
It's been a while since I blogged. Ever since placement started,
every weekday has been so freaking busy - I can't even remember a time
where I went straight home after work to rest and eat dinner.
All the birthdays to celebrate, the home visits and just simply, meet-ups
and stuff --they just drain my days away. Not that I regret going for all of them,
it's just that when I look back, I feel so amazed at myself and at the same time,
really tired.
Recently, there have been many birthday girls- who are really significant people
and I feel really blessed and happy to be able to celebrate their birthday with and for them. (:
And also the meet up with my godbro, who is surviving in BMT - so many things that's going on.
Amidst all the things that's going on, my luck seems to have changed for the worse.
Some not-very-good things have been happening and I really hope
that they don't continue.
But, of course, my life has still been brightened up by
many people and many things and events. (:
As for my placement, I feel that I really am learning alot because of all the exposure to
new things that I have never done before in my previous placement.
I really start to understand myself better in terms of my flaws-
I see my weaknessess more clearly and I really am starting to understand
Joyz's intentions for her recommendations for my second placement. All these
do depress me, naturally , as I think I may have overestimated myself and to not be
able to meet up to my expectations is of course, sucky. But, as my supervisor said,
the only person I can control is myself and hence, I have to be the one to be motivated to change
and not dwell on emotions and instead, focus on my actions that can make me a better person.
Nevertheless, it is hard. Faced with different challenges, expectations and demands, I feel a little
overwhelmed at times. Overwhelmed sometimes to the point that I feel lost about how to make myself a better person.
But, I know that I need to be better. I need to face what that lies beyond my comfort zone
with the courage and belief in myself. I need to overcome my irrational fears and expectations.
I need to be more hardworking, be more vocal, be more willing to make mistakes and be more
confident in everything that I do. I need to learn how to manage emotions better, need to learn
how to think faster, communicate better- there's so much that I want to learn but the fact is that
I can't learn so much at one go. I need guidance, encouragement, support- which I know there will be
people willing to give me - but , I guess it's my openness and receptivity to them.
Positivity can be a facade, just as how it can be genuine. The same goes for everything else.
But, I guess that's why being accountable to oneself is the only thing that can reassure oneself
about what goes on around him/her.
Can I accept failure? Can I accept the fact that I will make mistakes because I'm not good enough?
Is what I think I am capable of doing really true? I don't know. Maybe I'm just feeling a little discouraged by myself recently. Sigh. what a depressing post. Perhaps some will say I think too much, but I think
there's nothing wrong in thinking too much, of course not all the time la.
Oh well.
Jiayou bah. (:
Sunday, May 20, 2012
11:23 AM
BLESSED.
that's how I am feeling now. (:
wanyi's birthday party on friday night! (: I really love the thought and effort
put into making customized gifts for all the guests :D and the cake was so
pretty(: what makes it even more sweet is of course that
they are the first couple that I know to celebrate their 21st together (:
it was GREAT (: Seeing them doing stuff for us, running here and there, clearing up etc
really touched me because I know they just wanted us to enjoy ourselves and be happy,
which i did (:
I made my first salad! ^^ :D for Dr Nair's farewell party!
Thankyou bf for accompanying me to buy the ingredients and sending me home
after the stayover even though you were tired! <3
oh and I met hong sheng when i was taking train home with brandon, xx and jieli(:
so coincidental- i haven't seen him for so long la!
Anyway, Dr Nair's farewell party was awesome! (:
I sincerely truly enjoyed myself and the company and of course
getting to hear all the heartfelt words from Dr Nair , with the brilliant performances
by Nun and Alvin, awesome emceeing by sham and jiamin, hosting by joseph
and all the birthday cake surprises and just everything :D:D all the photos taken,
the laughter, the joy, the inspiration i got once again from this extremely
fantastic favourite lecturer- one that is enough for me to want to take a module
solely for her and one who never fails to encourage me and inspire me
about how social work should be done (: Someone i truly emulate,
look up to and hope to work with one day (:
But, above all, i feel trememdously blessed by all the wonderful social work people
in my life(: i feel loved and accepted and blessed, as i look at photos , think of memories-
they just make me smile(:
i gained so much from social work (: i suddenly feel like what i've been troubled over recently and stuff
are just so myopic, compared to the blessings i have and the blessings that i can bring to others(:
(: Friday, May 11, 2012
11:40 PM
hello!
there's so much i want to say , so much negativity or rants that i feel like pouring out
but i just can't bring myself to do it. while awesome friends helped brighten up my night,
sometimes i can't help but feel that i'm so imperfect. it's a sucky feeling.
oh well.
Thursday, May 10, 2012
12:00 AM
I did a good deed today!
Helped an old lady together with a Malaysian young lady by helping her
carry her four big bags of things to her house in Bishan. She was carrying them because
she was moving house. Such a petite and skinny fragile old lady struggling to carry
4 big bags of stuff, with 1 containing a bolster- it wasn't easy la! Thank goodness she met us
because the journey to her house apparently involved crossing the road and walking quite a distance ><
I felt quite touched and yet a little troubled by the Malaysian young lady
who also helped her. Touched because there are such nice people out there
who are still willing to give help , even though it had been a tiring day at work.
Troubled because it was not a Singaporean that offered a hand of assistance. ><
Have some thoughts but too tired to blog, another time :D:DTuesday, May 01, 2012
1:08 AM
WOOHOOO EXAMS ARE OVER!!!!! ^^
I feel SO happy and liberated.. from academic stuff at least.
I realise that I have SO MUCH non-academic stuff to do .. sigh.. haha but at least
they're meaningful(:
Anyway, today was a GREAT day because i spent it with wonderful wonderful pple :D
i love social work people. i love my social work friends. they brighten up my life SO SO much (:
i feel really lucky and blessed to meet such awesome people who love me and accept me for who I am in NUS (: They make me never want to leave school, I'll so miss them when i go Copenhagen. SIGH. :(
Anyway, met charm and debs to come school for lunch!
And then we prepared zawi's present :D and then groupwork exam!
And then zawi's birthday surprise plus my song dedication- super nervous la hahha but yay ^^
And then Dr nair farewell party meeting.
And then wonderful journey to our PPP!(:
hahaa. me, debs and jiamin went bugis jco donut to chill and eat super nice donuts:D
super shuang to just not think about academics and not to feel guilty while enjoying ourselves!
we then shoppeed!!!(: ahha with charm who came later!
we bought stuff haha for ourself and xinliang:D
and then ate a fantastic dinner at Ramenplay:D
then sham came !(: ahha all the laughter, photos and just EVERYTHING (:
i feel SO SUPER BLESSED (: honestly.
this bunch of people are so loved by me forever <3
anyway, i really hope for the people taking elderly to endure for the next few days!!!(:
ALL THE BEST TO THEM AH
(: i hope that the wait is worth it cuz they'll do DAMN well :D
haha. yay (:
happy day!
